Too Lazy to Attend Millrose? A Recap
When I think about the Millrose Games, I think of Madison Square Garden. And when I think of Madison Square Garden, I think of backseat sex. [don’t worry… news article: totally SFW] And when I think of backseat sex, I think of crippling humiliation, an accidental elbow to the face, your nose gurgling blood like one of those chocolate fountains all over the interior of your dad’s car, and the sudden shame of a policeman’s flashlight. No sir, it’s just cold in here and you suddenly made me very nervous.
So thus, when I think of Millrose, I think of crippling humiliation, and complete and total shame, an association fortified Friday night. After all, how do you tell your parents, Mom… Dad… I am the slowest kid in New York. No, they actually had a race and I came in last.
Sure, holding quote-unquote exhibition events like “Fastest Kid in NY” is all fine and good… for the kids that win. What of that little girl Friday night at Millrose… the one who criss-crossed over 5 lanes and came in last? She lost on the floor of the self-proclaimed Worlds Most Famous Arena. [Newsflash, MSG… The Colosseum in Rome… ever heard of it?] She lost in front of thousands of people. It was probably even on TV.
Crippling humiliation. Total shame. After Friday, that girl will probably grow up with low self-esteem and an unhealthy need for other people’s approval, a situation that will only lead to poor life choices. At this point, she’s all but locked into a train track to nowhere in life, where the light at the end of the tunnel is from the headlights of an SUV. And Stephon Marbury is waiting in the backseat. Way to go, Millrose. Way to go.
Oh, yeah. The meet was OK, too. Good competitions but a lot of down time. Next year, more bagpipes, please.
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February 6th, 2008 at 10:47 am |
1984 Millrose 5000 meter field:
Padilla, Schildauer, Shahanga, Barie, Bayi, Ryffel, Bitok, Staynings, Bickford, Herle, Geoff Smith, Kunze.
Europeans, Americans, Africans. Top men all. This is why the MSG used to be packed.