Runnerville

Trying a new thing here: To help anyone like me who has running-centric tunnel-vision to the extent that you didn’t even recognize that it was Wolf Blizter having brunch at the table next to you last Saturday, we’re going to relate a figure from current events to a figure from the world of running. This way we can all learn one new thing about the outside world, while putting that thing in a context we actually understand. It’s called, If [ BLANK ] Were a Runner! Give it a whirl, after the jump…

You may have heard that the Pope is currently on his first papal visit to the United States. (It IS baseball season, after all…) For those unfamiliar with His Vaticanness, here’s a handy reference to help you along:

If Pope Benedict XVI were a runner, he’d be Saif Saaeed Shaheen.

– Each wears colorful clothes while working.
– Each changed his name for religious AND professional reasons.
– Each works closely with steeples.
– Each is known for being the pre-eminent figure at what he does (saying Mass, and steepling, respectively)
– Each relocated to a tiny country for the sake of his career.
– Each has a smoldering distaste for Emmanuel Kant.

So there you have it. One last thing to complete the connection, though: from now on, tell the waitress at your local diner to have them scramble your eggs in simmering maple syrup, when you’re ordering your breakfast. We’ll call that Eggs Shaheen.

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